Preparing the Family

The last step in completing preparations for emergencies is preparing the family. Preparing the home and the supplies needed in an emergency can help family members only if they know and drill correct responses and proper use.

Table of contents

Introduction

The Family Talk

Principles for Conducting the Talk

Introduction

Preparing the family consists primarily of holding a family talk of five stages. The purpose of the talk is to formulate a family emergency plan with detailed steps while familiarizing everyone with possible threats and defensive measures, developing and enhancing the family’s ability to cope with states of emergency, and establishing the family as the central structure for coping and support.

Do not panic! A talk that is held within a supportive family, the way it is conducted, and the messages and information transmitted in it, will in themselves strengthen the family’s feeling that it can function competently as a unit. In this section, we will explain in detail how to hold a positive talk, and what you must transmit in its course so that it will achieve its goals.

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The Family Talk

The talk may jump-start the preparation process, and may also serve to summarize its conclusion. In a family with older children, it is best to hold the talk at the beginning of the preparation process, and have the whole family participate in gathering objects for the emergency bag and choosing its storage location. You can share with the whole family the rationale for choosing your secure space or room, divide up the tasks that are necessary to make it ready for an emergency, etc. With younger children, it is best that the talk serve as a summary of the process, and that it focus primarily on presenting them with the secure space and the supplies, and on the parts of the talk listed below. The talk should be held in the presence of all family members (don’t let your teenager skip it, and don’t put it off because of another meeting at work!). The talk should be led by an adult (one parent or both), though it is important to invite everyone into the conversation. (If there are significant age spreads, the talk may be held in two parts in order to allow all family members to express themselves at their own level and talk about their particular concerns.) Set aside a designated time for this talk (not while you’re busy with other things), and lend the talk the seriousness it deserves. It is a good idea to prepare the talk ahead of time, to plan the order in which you will present its parts, and to choose the important points that need emphasis. The adult must make sure that every family member has a chance to express him/herself so that an atmosphere of openness and motivation is created. The adult must also make sure that, at the end of the process, every family member and the family as a unit emerge with a positive outlook.

The talk should be held in three stages: introduction, contents (five steps), and conclusion.

Introduction: Its purpose is to make sure that everyone shares the same expectations in terms of the goals of the talk, and to define the rules of the talk so that it can proceed in the best manner possible. Begin by defining the goals of the talk (as stated above), and by reminding participants of the need for an orderly discussion.
Contents: Its purpose is to transmit the necessary information, and to make operative proposals so that an emergency plan is actually formulated.

The five steps:

You can use the “hand method,” i.e., tick off each of the five steps of the talk on your fingers:

· What is the emergency?

· What do we do?

· Where do we meet?

· Whom do we contact?

· When are we doing this again?

See details of each step

Conclusion: Together with the last step of the contents part of the talk (in which the adult makes sure that everyone has understood the information and summarized the family’s emergency plan and its basic parts), it is important to summarize the talk in a general way. The purpose of this is to make sure that each family member and the family as a whole emerge from the talk with a heightened sense of strength and with a positive outlook. Make sure that each goal of the preparations is clear, and that it contributes to a feeling of competence rather than paralysis. Note again the effectiveness of coping strategies. While summarizing one or two points of the talk, turn the participants’ attention to the preparation and not to the emergency!

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Principles for Conducting the Talk
. · Make sure to pay attention the unique characteristics of your family. Every home is different in its configuration and composition, and therefore requires unique attention (from the elderly or an infant in the family, to the presence of an interior staircase or a puppy). Dealing with the concrete and the here-and-now will help family members connect emotionally with the subject under discussion, and will ensure the most thorough and successful preparation for your family.

· Try to prepare for multiple scenarios in different situations. Even though preparing is essentially easy and identical in many cases, it is a good idea to avoid clinging to any one single, simple solution. It is important to discuss scenarios in which one or more of the family members is absent (particularly in the context of dividing up tasks), to try to anticipate further developments of a given emergency, and so on.

· Always make an effort to explain the rationale behind the choices, even when speaking to young children. It is best to do this through leading questions. This will ensure that should the plan formulated by the family during the talk somehow become neutralized, the way of thinking you have modeled will enable family members to come up with suitable alternatives.

· Note that the non-verbal messages you transmit during the talk can be of great importance and have a critical effect. Confident and resilient behavior on the parents’ part can enormously strengthen the family.

· Make sure to allow the children to express their concerns and fears. Do not disregard their anxieties and willingness to reveal them. By legitimizing them, family members can open up and compare what they are all feeling, and discuss what are, after all, “normal” reactions: “I’m not the only one who thinks, feels, behaves this way – it’s everyone in the family.” Talk to your children, listen to their feelings, and give short, truthful answers. Use words and concepts from contexts that are clear and familiar to the children.

· During the entire talk, convey a message of confidence, ability to cope, and unity (“We’re together!”).

· It is important to stress that early preparation means improved readiness of family members, and that, in times of need, it is within the power of preparations to save lives. Explain to your children that you are raising the issue in order to ensure their safety during situations that are possible, and by no means definite.

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